The San Franciscan

I awake to the barking seals of Fisherman’s Wharf at precisely 10:34 a.m. After scrolling through Reddit from my bed with one sleepy eye, I head to the bathroom to drink some fresh Hetch...

San Francisco is a city rich with natural beauty, significant history, and LIES. Sure, everyone likes to have a few “fun facts” up their sleeve, but if you believe everything you hear, it’s only a matter of time before you’re at a work dinner telling your boss’s husband about how if you French braided all the suspension cables in the Golden Gate Bridge you could make a wig big enough for the sun. And he’s like, “What? That can’t be right.” And then you have to quit, again.